Giacomo Casanova associated with European royalty, popes and cardinals, and men such as Voltaire, Goethe and even Mozart.  However, many historians say that due to his lifestyle, had he not been obliged to spend some years as a librarian in the household of Count Waldstein of Bohemia, he would probably be forgotten today.  Casanova filled the long and boring hours of his time in the library writing his life’s story. 

From the start, Casanova had a roller – coaster life.  Born in 1725 to actor parents(it was rumored that he nor any of his 5 siblings were the biological offspring of their father) Casanova was cared for by his grandmother while his mother toured Europe performing in the theater.  His father died when he was only eight years old.  As a child, Casanova suffered nosebleeds which his grandmother had treated by a witch.  At age nine, he was sent to a boarding house in Padua.  The memory of the neglect from his parents stayed with this troubled man his entire life.

The conditions of the boarding house were inhuname.  He was placed under the care of his head instructor, Abbe’ Gozzi, and he lived with the Gozzi family for most of his teenage years.  At age eleven, Casanova was molested by his gaurdian’s younger sister.  Casanova later said, “she who little by little kindled in my heart the first sparks of a feeling which later became my ruling passion”.  This woman stole any sliver of hope of a childhood from him.

Casanova demonstrated a quick wit and an insatiable hunger for knowledge from an early age.  He entered the University of Padua at age twelve and graduated at seventeen, with a degree in law.   While in university, he developed a heavy gambling habit, causing his grandmother to make him return to Venice.   

Giacomo Casanova went on to begin a clerical law career.  He always situated himself in a position to rub elbows with the most popular and most wealthy men around.  He even became a legal counsel for the church!  However, each and every time that he would make a new contact, he would be intimate with the man’s wife or steal them blind.  These scandals tainted the reputation of Casanova.  He went on to have careers as a soldier, an assistant to the pope, a musician, a professional gambler, etc.  He never succeeded in any of these careers.  Yes, he made many fortunes over the years but he either gambled them away or had to use them to finance another run from the law. 

Casanova did actually love one woman.  He called her “Henriette” and stated that she was, “perhaps the deepest love I ever experienced”.  Henriette combined beauty, intelligence, and culture.  He said that she made him, “happy all 24 hours of the day” and that “the joy which flodded my soul was far greater when I conversed with her during the day than when I held her in my arms at night.”  Much to the dismay of Casanova, Henriette was very wise and became wise to his ways and nature.  She left Casanova in middle of the night, placing 500 Louis in his pocket, a mark of her evaluation of his character.   

This caused great depression to come upon Casanova, crestfallen and despondent, he went back to Venice, where he had a run of luck with a good gambling streak.  He took the money and began to travel Europe again, one town to another,  engaging in hundreds of sexual escapades.  The numerous liaisons of Giacomo Casanova became well noted by police forces around the world.  These escapades eventually landed him in prison.  The story that he tells of his escape is elaborate and exciting, involving hidden escape holes in the ceilings, climbing the rooftops of Vienna’s “inescapable prison”, swimming in the mote, etc.  Some say that the truth of the matter was that he simply bribed his way out of prison but, there is proof to this day of holes in the ceiling of his cell.

Upon his escape from prison, he returned to Paris.  He proceeded to gain friends, who he would in turn, cheat and steal from.  He was addicted to gambling, so he again lost his fortune and was thrown back into prison.  After serving his sentence and regaining his freedom, he went back to traveling.  The same events from his history replayed themselves over and over. 

In 1785, Casanova became the librarian to Count Joseph Karl von Waldstein.  He assumed that this position would catapult him back into the social hierarchy,a s the Count was a chamberlain of the emperor in the Castle of Dux in Bohemia (now the Czech Republic).  However, the Count was just as selfish and self – centered as Casanova himself and rarely introduced him to any one. 

Casanova describes his last years as boring and frustration.  His health deteriorated dramatically and he found life among peasants to be less than stimulating.  His only friends were his fox terriers.  In his despair, Casanova contemplated suicide but eventually decided that he must continue to live in order to record his memoirs, which he did until the day he died. 

Casanova died on June 4, 1978 at the age of 73.  The “world’s greatest lover” died alone, unloved, not even liked by other people.  His only friendly companions were his three dogs. 

Alone, no one to even call friend…  THIS is who people consider to be the greatest lover in the world?  A tortured soul who spent his entire life searching for acceptance, searching for someone, ANYONE to love him.  He would adapt and become whatever he felt that others wanted him to be, continually shutting out any chance of anyone every getting to know who he was inside.  By shutting people out of his inner-self, he robbed himself at the chance of love. 

But through it all, God never stopped loving him.  No matter how many people he used and shoved by the wayside, God loved him. 

Although some people reject even the very thought of God’s existence, He still loves.  In fact, He loves unconditionally…  THink about that for a second.  No matter what we do, including crucifying the very One who created us, He still loved. 

It has been said that a mother’s love is unconditional.  This, my friend, is a myth.  Although I can’t fathom what could ever make me not love my son, there are ALWAYS limits to the love of a human being.  God, however, loves no matter what.  He loved us before we were ever created.  He created man out of a desire to have someone love Him in return, someone to WILLINGLY love Him.

Often times, what we think of love is something so superficial and without substance that anything will qualify as love. 

If we really knew love…  If we knew deep, profound, unending love, maybe we would be able to better grasp an understanding of the way God loves.  God created trees, water, animals, dirt, mountains, etc. and while I’m sure that God appreciates these things (He DID create them), creation is not the object of His affection.  When it comes to love, YOU and I, we are unique.  Many things in this universe are dispensable to God…  God can re – create anything that He so chooses.  We, YOU and I, are not on that long list of dispensables.  We are unique.  God designed each and every one of us specifically. 

“Why do you say that He couldn’t re – create me exactly the same”, you may ask…  He is God, so I’m sure that if He really wanted to, He could.  But think about this with me, twins, triplets, quads, etc are born daily.  Even if they all split from the same egg, NO TWO ARE EXACTLY ALIKE!!!  Even siamese twins are different, including those who are born SHARING A BRAIN!  They think differently, they want different things, they love differently, yet the share an intrical part of what makes us all different. 

God loves us enough to take the time to create each human being in their own unique form.  He doesn’t even force us to love Him, it’s a decision that we must make.  He loves us no matter what, even when we choose not to acknowledge Him, He loves us just the same.  We are not merely Friends of God, we are the CHILDREN of God, beyond that, we are the only one of all His Creations that He chooses to commune with.  We are the only ones to whom He breathed His own breath of life into.  All other creations were spoken into existence, YOU and I were fashioned by the very hands of God.

Steven Curtis Chapman sings a song, “Fingerprints of God”.  One of my favorite parts of that songs says, “just look at you, you’re a wonder in the making.  Oh and God’s not through, no, in fact, He’s just getting started”.  The chorus goes on to say, “I can see the fingerprints of God, when I look at you.  I can see the fingerprints of God, and I know it’s true.  You’re a masterpiece that all creation quietly applauds and you’re covered with the fingerprints of God.”

This song, while upbeat, brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it because I can’t help but think about how much God loves ME, Holly Michelle…  He loved me so much more than even the angels that I am fashioned by the very hands that placed the stars in the sky and hung the moon.  I am loved, deeply, unconditionally.  No matter what mistakes I may make in life, I am loved by my God.

To love so deeply and so greatly, I cannot begin to even try and wrap my brain around the concept.  I am certain that history has it all wrong.  The world’s greatest Lover, the One who has been most intimately connected with any human, whatsoever is in no way, shape or form, Giacomo Girolamo Casanova de Seingalt, but instead, my sweet and most precious Jesus.  He loved me enough to die for me, to breath my very life into existence.  He loves me enough to know my every thought, my every feeling. 

Jesus Christ, Son of man, God incarnate… The world’s greatest Lover.  There is no greater love than His, no greater love can or will ever be given.

How many times do we ignore the people sittiing directly in front of us at lunch or dinner for texts, Facebook, or Twitter checks?

How many times do we get together with loved ones only to spend more time communicating via technology rather than spending quality FACETIME with the ones we are actually with?

I will make it a point from this day forward to BE PRESENT in my actions with people. Facebook, Twitter, even most text messages can wait for one hour… even two or three hours so that my family, friends, and especially my God can see and feel how much I care about and love them.
I care enough to BE PRESENT, to actually listen and give them my undivided attention.

Please allow me to share the following:

“In this world of blogging, twittering, and facebooking, it’s easy to smell a fake.
It’s easy to see the brown on the end of a nose.
It’s easy to think that your online presence is the key to some sort of happiness in life.
It’s easy to try and replace your offline happiness with online euphoria.
Yet when you shut your laptop screen, walk down the hallway, and kiss your spouse or kids goodnight, your follower count, unique ip visits, and facebook friends are worth squat.
You see everyone that clicked “follow”, “add friend”, or “leave comment” has thought about you probably a total of 3 seconds of their day.
If that.
Yet your spouse and kids have been thinking about you all day long.
It’s when you realize this, that the scariest and most important truth of the day comes to life.
You can have a rapidly growing online following while the 1, 2, or 3 most important “followers” you have…
May have already hit “unfollow”.”

At dinner Sunday night, Derek and I were talking with Sonny and Gabby (Loco) Warbington. Sonny has this t-shirt made by the clothing company, Rebel Spirit”. He said that he wore it to church a short time ago and a particular lady commented on it stating that she, “could not believe that he would wear something with ‘Rebel Spirit’ on it!”. Sonny, in turn, told her, “I wear it proudly because I have a rebel spirit. I rebel against the spirits of the world.” I must say, I am rather proud to be serving under the ministry of someone with such a rebel spirit, it’s rubbing off on my family! I hope that we can pass it along to the students in JCrew and they will take it and turn their world upside down! And from what God did on Sunday, I can see that with His help, we are raising up a group of major rebel spirits! Pastor Chris, Pastor Sonny, look out! REFUGE is about to start REBELLING!

Wayne Francis and Jared Howell, General Youth President & LA District Youth Presidents of the UPCI, respectively each posted this quote a few minutes ago: “You are responsible forever for what you have tamed.” – Antoine De Saint-Exupery. I have a God-given rebel spirit. I don’t think like most people think and I expect so much more than what others expect. I think with the rebel mindset, that we are not going to conform, give in, blend, etc we will impact our world. I think back to Senior Camp, 2009 when the young adults from The Pentecostals of Lafayette were lost in worship on Wednesday night. They were the first ones of the crowd to stand on the back of the pews, Byron was dancing on his. They got strange looks at first, some even snickered but you know what? THEY MADE A DIFFERENCE! On the “organ” side of the platform in our tabernacle, it is traditionally a place where the students whose parents wouldn’t let them sit in the back could sit and chit chat comfortably under the balcony. WELL, NOT ANYMORE! The effect from one group of people changed the atmosphere of that tiny area of the congregation. Their rebel spirit had such an impact, that some of the “unmovables” were, in fact, moved. They were so moved that a couple were even filled with the Holy Ghost. Rebel spirits with a cause… the cause of Christ.

Carlos Whit, a ragamuffin with a rebel spirit said, “I don’t want to be relevant to the secular world, I want to be relevant to their SOULS”. If we could all grasp that mentality, there is no telling what God could do!

Too may times lately, have I watched Christians blur the lines to where we can’t tell the saved from the lost (and NO, by NO MEANS, do I mean standards, that is between YOU and GOD, no one else’s business). When I am talking with a Christian, I expect to feel the love of Christ. When I walk into a church service, I want it to ignite and excite my very soul! That being said, (told you I expect more than others), I want to FEEL SOMETHING DIFFERENT. We simply can’t make it comfortable for the spirits affecting people to hang around, even if they linger just outside our walls. I want the rebel spirits of todays Christian young people to blow the evil spirits of the world away, an ocean away should be too close for their comfort. I know that God has placed this rebel spirit in the hearts of our JCrew staff to start a revolution in our young people.

So, that being said, BRIDGE, RUSH, Louisiana District Youth, are you guys up to the challenge? Camp Meeting Youth Convention is this coming Thursday & Friday… Let’s find out, are you a rebel spirit or just another face in the “cool crowd”?

For the past year or so, I have become so caught up in learning to be a good wife, a good mother, and trying to figure out what God wanted from me that I pretty much lost ME. I got to a point where I didn’t even know myself anymore, Holly Michelle had simply disappeared, she didn’t die, she just went missing. While reading my bible the other day, I had a moment where I stopped and laughed at myself, thinking, “You dork… You know good and well that God doesn’t want anything from you except Y-O-U”. I’ve heard this my whole life, even taught it myself! God doesn’t expect anything more from us than what He knows we are capable of. He simply wants us. It’s not our job to “figure out what we’re supposed to be doing”, we’re supposed to LISTEN and do as He commands. (I know, I know, listening is VERY hard for we females, especially when it comes to taking direction from others, but DO IT) My only dilemma was that I didn’t even know where the REAL ME had gone!

I decided that the only way to find ME again, was to lose this other person forever in the Word. The more I read, the more I began to write again, the more time I spent with God, the hungrier I became. I am currently on an insatiable quest for more of God. The amazing thing is, the more I get lost in Him, the more I find ME!!! I have retained my old joy, I am at peace in Jesus again. I started listening to Him, following His directions and they led me right back to where I belong, in His arms.

I have been pouring over old pictures and Amie Glasgow has added some old ones on Facebook that I am loving! I’m replaying old memories in my mind. I think I now know how to balance it all without losing myself in the mix of life… Jesus is the center. I, like most people, have said, God, family, church, etc… However, I now disagree with that whole thought process. God should never be placed on a list!!! HELLO, HE’S GOD!!! He IS and SHOULD be the CENTER of our little world’s. We should never have to THINK about putting Him first in anything because He should be the CENTER of all of our actions anyway. No, I’m not saying that you should be teaching a bible study while running up and down a basketball court, but stay in communication with God, start the day off with Him. While you’re playing the game, keep that attitude in check, others are watching and expecting YOU to be an example of JESUS to them. Same goes for shopping, working out at the gym, eating in a resteraunt, etc. Keeping God as our center will help keep us centered in life. God is a great big god. The bible says that, “the heavens are His throne and the earth is His footstool”, I would say that He’s pretty large! That being said, when God is put off to the side, EVERYTHING becomes unbalanced, it simply can’t be helped. And the whole time we’re trying to figure out what’s wrong, why we can’t stand up straight, He’s sitting there going, “HELLO!! You shoved me over here, forgot about me, put me back in the center, I’ll fix it!!!”. Well, I did that and you know what? He fixed it! I’m standing tall and walking up right. The best part of it is, I’m not looking for ME anymore. I am Holly and I’m here to stay.

Today, I walked over to the courthouse snack shop to grab a sandwich for lunch.  Since our office building is kept locked at all times, I instinctively grabbed my keys.  I walked over and watched them make my delicious turkey sandwich specifically to my liking.  I grew hungrier just looking at it!  I walked back to my office holding the precious sandwich only to get there and find out that I grabbed the wrong keys and am officially locked out.  Most days, I am the only person who stays in for lunch (what can I say, I’m cheap), today I was PRAYING for SOMEONE to still be there.  I walked around to the back door in the BURNING sun (it was 99 degrees with a heat index of 117 today!), tripped over the gate, and promptly missed the lady who had just walked out.  She was in her car and gone before I could even get up. 

I began thinking, “Well, I’ll just walk over to the shade trees at the courthouse and have lunch al fresco”.  Then just at that moment, SOMEONE OPENED THE DOOR!  THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I entered the building, pouring sweat, and SAVORED every single bite of my precious sandwich.

…just another hour or so in the life of the graceful klutz. =)

“Iran is in a rebellion, afghan war is heating up, korea is threatening to “wipe us out”, Obama is passing laws for abortion and gay marriages. If there has EVER been a time for us to stop worrying about petty things and get on our face before God and plead for our family and friends salvation. I am gonna say that time is NOW! No longer is it just a sermon of end time prophecy. This is reality people!!!”

How right she is!!! Her thought goes directly with what I’ve been thinking and feelin lately. When are we CHRISTIANS, (I am so sick of denominations being called out when we ALL claim to be CHRISTLIKE but can’t seem to grasp waht it MEANS to be a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N) going to quit knitpicking at every little thing that doesn’t amount to anything worthwile and start worrying about the BIG PICTURE?! There are people out there who are lost, dying, and going to Hell and yet we’re worried if someone does’t look exactly like us the second they get up from an altar?

One of the BIBLICAL signs of the “endtime” is “wars and rumors of wars”… HOW MUCH MORE OF A WAKEUP CALL TO CHRISTIANS NEED?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! It’s time to repent for our nonchalant attitudes toward God and get to stepping! We are always talking the talk, now it’s time for CHRISTIANS to WALK THE WALK! GET TO STEPPING!!!

After standing in a room last week with a hundred or so AMAZING people who all are “somebody”, I realized again…

It’s not who you know…It’s Who you serve.
At the end of the day it is not about getting “the deal”
At the end of the day it’s not about writing “the song”
At the end of the day it’s not about meeting “the man”
At the end of the day it’s not about your church hitting “that number”
At the end of the day it’s not about attending “the conference”
At the end of the day it’s not about writing “the book”
At the end of the day it’s not about losing “those pounds”
At the end of the day it’s not about being invited to “that party”
At the end of the day it’s not about being on “the list”
At the end of the day it’s not about being in “that worship band”
At the end of the day it’s not about dating “that girl/guy”
At the end of the day it’s not about hitting “those stats”
At the end of the day it’s not about getting “that award”
At the end of the day it’s not about being “that person’s friend”
At the end of the day it’s not about creating “the perfect sermon series”
At the end of the day it’s not about being a member of “that church”
At the end of the day it’s not about someone preaching “that message”
At the end of the day it’s not about shmoozing “those people”
At the end of the day it’s not about everyone lifting “those hands”
At the end of the day it’s not about praying “that prayer”

All that junk is just junk.
It does not matter.
It is not your identity.

It will ALL go away.
But what will not go away is that moment that you stopped believing all your self righteous lies and found your identity in Jesus alone.

Not the deal, the song, the man, that number, the conference, the book, those pounds, that party, the list, that band, that girl/guy, those stats, that award, that number of copies, the perfect sermon series, that problem, that message, those people, those hands, or that prayer.

It is about Christ in you the hope of Glory.
]]> http://hollyweber.wordpress.com/2009/06/25/its-not-about-this-that/feed/ 0 hollyweber http://hollyweber.wordpress.com/2009/06/25/i-wonder-los-whit/ http://hollyweber.wordpress.com/2009/06/25/i-wonder-los-whit/#comments Wed, 24 Jun 2009 19:50:43 +0000 hollyweber http://hollyweber.wordpress.com/?p=9 ]]> I wonder how many people, if we actually asked them, keep coming back to our churches because of our stellar Sunday productions.

I wonder if we ask the right people.

I wonder if we stopped, for a while, if people would keep coming.

I wonder if we turned off the lights and pulled the band if more people would come or go.

I wonder if we flipped the teaching time and music time, if it would matter.

I wonder if first time visitors are more concerned with what happens outside the auditorium than what happens inside it.

I wonder if the things we’ve rebelled against are the exact things we’ve become.

I wonder if church sanctuaries will ever be used more than 2% a week.

I wonder if there has been more energy put into our holiday weekend services/ceremonies than our neighbors on the left and right.

I wonder with all the talk of social justice, why those friends keep walking by homeless people without even a smile.

I wonder when we will stop arguing about how to run the church and begin to start running our families.

I wonder how disrespected my dad feels by my generation of preachers saying his way is the wrong way.

I wonder how disrespected my generation of preachers will feel when our kids say our way is the wrong way.

I wonder when blatant envy will be replaced with prayer for others to succeed as well.

I wonder when soul winning and church planting became an industry.
I wonder if we know that our opinions are just that, opinions.

I wonder if those who say my church is an inch deep and a mile wide know that they would actually drown in the inch we provide.

These are the things I wonder…

How about you?

After a while this is what I came to realize. As much as I love “Yes You Have”, to a certain extent, It’s wrong. My Jesus never STOLE my heart, He PURCHASED it. I see it like this, when something is stolen and the thief who steals it is apprehended, the item is returned to it’s owner. Stolen items are not generally valued by the thief in the same manner that they were valued by the owner. Thieves will often sell, trade, or pawn their loot; a thief merely thinks of these things as mere trinkets, things to be toyed with. For the owner, the stolen items are usually something valued, many times locked away in a safe for protection, NEVER something to simply play with. The only reason it’s stolen in the first place is due to a sneaky thief or a casual letting down of one’s gaurd.

My heart was initially created by God. After the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, man was then born into sin. God, being a just God, gave mankind freewill, we have the right to choose to whom we will give our heart. My Jesus died on Calvary so that I could be saved, He paid for my salvation, therefore purchasing my heart, with His own life. I ran from Him for a while, initially giving my heart to the devil, living any way that I wanted, not being accountable and avoiding God. Why on earth would God “STEAL” my heart from Satan? I was so priceless to God that he gave His only Son to purchase my heart. My Jesus waited patiently for me, quietly waiting on me to bring Him the very heart that He purchased with His life’s blood. I am a treasure to God, to be kept safe in His arms of love, forgiven by His amazing grace.

The devil stole my heart for a while even though I didn’t go nuts, getting into drugs, sex, etc. but I had a bitter heart, an awful attitude and a heavy anger toward God. However, like most stolen things, my heart was returned to it’s rightful owner. I am redeemed, I have been bought with a price. Jesus has changed my whole life. I AM REDEEMED, a priceless treasure, never a stolen trinket.

~HMW~

**Please excuse the rambling moments, I’m quite tired but needed to clear my mind.”